So, we took off out of SFO right on time. I had my usual trepidation about flying United that only frequent United flyers understand. However, the person who checked us in at SFO was wonderful, the first flight attendant we spoke with told us about her travels through China and Asia in the early '70's (a much different experience than we will be having), the flight was on time, and the airplane clean. That being said, there was ONE member of the flight crew that was an example of the species known as Attendicus Horribilus Unitedus (an "AHU" to condense to a three-letter acronym).
There is a reason that humans are NOT allowed to cry "fire" in a crowded theater. We are not too far out of the caves, and we are a social species. We have the ability to infect one another with happiness (a comedy show), fear (a scary movie), or as the AHU's of the world have perfected, how to make 300+ people extremely tense. In my view, the AHU is the worst type of person in ANY service industry I've ever experienced, as they have the ability to infect an entire airplane and make everyone miserable. On this flight however, it was a wonderful flight crew, and I actually think it made the AHU upset (stretched plastic surgery skin and all) that she could not ruin everyone's flight. Sometimes I think that United should just herd all the AHU's together and make them fly Southwest Airlines for a week. Seeing that you can have completely full, fast turn flights WITHOUT making it obvious that you hate your customers (an AHU requirement, and a behavioral trait that Southwest would not allow in an employee), would probably cause many of the AHU's to have an aneurism and/or hopefully find a new career.
So, the flight was a bit late due to massive headwinds. I thought we were flying to Shanghai, but it was only on arrival that I learned that we landed in the city of Chunking by accident. Two of my kids woke from a deep sleep to have the continental breakfast before landing. So we land in what we thought was Shanghai's amazing huge airport (but was really Chunking). We are on the taxiway to the gate when Daughter Number Three suddenly, without warning, does the full "chunking" all over her clothes. It was apparent that the strawberries did not agree with her. The flight crew was great helping my wife get the little one cleaned up (thankfully the AHU was towards the rear of the plan, probably pulling the wings off a fly), and we got off the plane.
Next stop is getting through health quarantine, no problem, because everyone is jetlagged, but healthy. We're in line for customs next, very efficient, almost Singapore-like, when Daughter Number One suddenly starts saying that the back of her head hurts, and starts looking ghostly pale. Great. So, I'm handing our passports to the customs agent, my wife and three daughters are with me, and suddenly, oldest daughter goes "chunking" all over the front of the Customs booth. YUCK! Somehow, they let us through, which was nice of them, 'cuz it really must have been the strawberries. Or maybe my genetics, as I remember getting nauseous when jetlagged as a kid as well.
So we drive into the city from the Airport, no problem, driving past the Shanghai skyline with ever more examples of amazing architecture. In a strange coincidence, I took a picture several years ago, during one of my last trips to Shanghai of what I thought was just an amazing summary of the types of changes that China is undergoing. The photo was of a billboard of a Johnny Walker/BMW Golf Tournament. You gotta think through the ramifications of a golf tournament in China, let alone a Golf tournament sponsored by a luxury car company. It's a story I've told to tons of folks over the years. And along the way was one hotel with lots of Courtesy BMW's and signs for the BMW Golf Open 2007! Just like my photo from years ago. I guess it is somewhat less incongruous now than several years ago, as one drives down Shanghai streets past stores from a litany of global luxury brands (Hermes, Jaguar, Rolex, Ferragamo, Cartier). In the ten years I have been coming to China the transition has been tremendously fast, and if the energy in Shanghai is any leading indicator, seems to have no signs of abating.
Dear Jeff,
Hope your children are well? - only advise would be to avoid the Strawberries and AHU's.
Fantastic blog so far - looking forward to more nicer scenes :-) soon.
Kind regards
Bill
Posted by: Bill Munday | April 17, 2007 at 07:06 PM